Relationship

 Do some people's early experiences predispose them to the idea that they must lose themselves in a relationship?

If someone were to reflect on their previous relationship, they might discover that they began to lose themselves when they first met the other and had essentially lost themselves by the time they were together. There's a possibility that this has happened more than once.

If this is the case, it will be evident that they have had a number of relationships where it has occurred. They will then be all too familiar with this situation.

What Occurs

Whether or not they have previously experienced this on numerous occasions, if they are currently in a relationship like this, they may recognize that they are playing a role. This will imply that their actions are not determined by their own requirements, sentiments, desires, or preferences.

No, it will be determined by what they believe they want to be and by what the other person wants them to be. As a result, only their physical self will manifest; their emotional and possibly mental selves won't.

It's obscured

However, even though who they are will rarely or never be exposed to their partner, this does not guarantee that they will be aware of it. It might not even be noticeable because of how well they will be able to perform this role.

However, if it doesn't stand out, it might just be interpreted as the other person not being very perceptive. They may expect another person to act like an extension of themselves because of their own wounds.

An escalation

Even though they won't reveal who they are, there will still be signs that they are unhappy with the situation. They might not be able to express their feelings, but if they could, they might be frustrated, angry, and resentful about what is happening.Their behavior will be affected in some way by what is actually happening to them. This could result in them withdrawing, not returning phone calls or text messages, and not being as present in their partner's company.

In doing so, they remove the need to assert themselves because their partner will learn about what is happening and put an end to it. Whatever transpires, they will probably be relieved to no longer have to conceal themselves.

greater depth

It is not surprising that being in a relationship is not very fulfilling if this is what happens when they are together in an intimate setting. Relationships will make them lose something very valuable—their own selves.

Therefore, no matter how much they stand to gain from their relationship, it won't make up for what they stand to lose. What if there was an alternative that didn't involve them losing who they were?

A third choice

This would imply that it is possible to be in a relationship and maintain a connection to who you are, rather than having to choose between being in a relationship and losing yourself or being by yourself and maintaining your identity. This might not be considered to be even remotely feasible right now.

They would be involved in a relationship that consisted of two people and a fourth entity known as the relationship if this were to occur. As a result, they could each continue to be true to themselves and express who they are to one another.

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Going Further

If they don't believe this is something that could happen, they'll need to consider why. By doing this, they might discover that they feel the need to hide themselves when they are close to someone and are uncomfortable expressing who they are.

The Present is the Past

Even though this phase of their lives is over, a significant portion of them will continue to function from this point forward. The emotional scars they carry will go hand in hand with their conviction that they must conceal who they are in order to survive and connect with others.

They were abandoned and their true selves were rejected, but until they heal their emotional scars, this will be perceived as something that will happen rather than something that has already happened. In the end, they were not shown the affection and encouragement they required to be able to mature and develop properly.

This may have the fear of being abandoned and having their life end underneath it. One perspective on this would be to claim that this is irrational and that they simply need to get over their fear.

Before Time

Another way to look at this is to say that this is probably evidence that during their early years, they were unable to behave independently. They might have been required to follow their wishes at this point and were treated as an extension of their caregiver(s).

They would have likely been abandoned if they had expressed their needs or feelings. They would have been conditioned to believe that losing themselves and becoming someone else's idea of who they should be in order to survive and not be alone.

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